If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
