does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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