halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
