Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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