white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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