I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
