her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
