Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
