If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
