Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize