whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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