I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
