is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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