I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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