But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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