I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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