hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize