she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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