Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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