My sheets look like a crime scene.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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