I must be too annoying 4 u.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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