Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
