We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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