even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
