She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
