dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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