You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
