3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
as a side note pls kill me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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