KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
