Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
