im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
