Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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