Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
