I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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