Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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