I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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