They should really pass out barf bags in church
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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