she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
