That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
