I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize