ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jerry, you need to find god
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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