moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
