so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dicks are not precious.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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