Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize