Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
