I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Are my feet made of real feet?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
