he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize