I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize