We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
