She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
