she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
