I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
