Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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