So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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