Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
