I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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