i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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