So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
