hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
