Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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