how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
