I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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