420 ftw
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
