Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize